God: You don’t have to have it all figured out.
This is what God has been whispering in my ear for years now. In subtle ways. A nudge here. A reminder there. He has been right beside me every time I feel an anxiety attack forming in my worrisome thoughts.
How will I get there? What path will I take? Which turns should I make? When is it okay to rest? I shouldn’t rest because life is a race to success! But where do I start? I’m not prepared. Maybe I should turn around.
Doubts form in my mind and weigh heavily on my shoulders throughout my days. And today, God tapped me on the shoulder once again and tenderly told me for the 100th time, “You don’t have to have it all figured out.” So, here I am writing to you (readers) with the hopes these words will stick with me this time.
I am a dreamer. I am a writer. I am a Christian. I am a realist with an optimistic attitude. All of these seem like great qualities until I’m standing in front of someone….telling them what I’m going to do next….and watching as their face twists into judgement. They pester me with questions I don’t have answers to. They almost chuckle when my reason is always, “Because God told me.” This has always been a stumbling block for me. It feels like little seeds of doubt are thrown into the soil of my heart, and I struggle to pluck them before they are able to take root.
But you know what? This is me. I am beginning to realize I don’t owe anyone answers. I don’t owe people explanations. I can only tell the truth. They can accept it. They can reject it. But they cannot change it. Truth is….when God tells me to move I move. I might hesitate out of fear, but I always end up moving. When God tells me I won’t be living in a place a year from now, I start packing my things. When God tells me to move back to Atlanta, I make arrangements for where I’ll be living. When God says to pursue writing, I search for my pen and pencil….and I invest in a Macbook 😉
Because God said so! And if that answer isn’t good enough for “them”…this conversation just isn’t going to go anywhere productive. They don’t have to believe what I do to support me. People should judge my life by the fruit that is produced….and right now this fruit is tasting pretty sweet.
So I write this as a note to self: Don’t think you have to have it all together. Don’t let others make you question your methods. And don’t for a second doubt that God is going to do exactly what He said He would. Just keep placing one foot in front of the other.