My reflection has always felt like a different being.
For the sake of sounding crazy I will write this in the hopes that others can relate.
When I see an image, I almost have a second of recognition. Like, “Oh yeah, that’s me.”
It feels like the woman the mirror tells me I am, is different from who I actually am. Each outfit I pick out reflects a little about my personality. But when I see the picture (in the mirror) the message sounds different. It’s like the essence of who I am got lost in translation.
What I am is not what I see, but that does not mean I hate myself.
I used to think that perhaps it was because I was insecure, but no. Now, I stand secure in my outer appearance and I still feel a disconnection with the woman I lock eyes with. She just seems like………..
Ahh! I sound crazy.
Now that I am in a different space and have matured into my own beliefs, I think perhaps it is a reminder that we are not our bodies. What is the quote…? Something about we are not bodies with a spirit, but we are spirits that have a body.
That’s what it is. I have been on this journey to a vague destination this entire year, and I see that, in the process, God has shown me my true self. The part that matters. The part that lives on forever. After my body breathes it’s last breath, my soul will live on. My spirit is eternal, and my body is not. So, in a sense they are separate. But they are married for a season (the duration of my life), and I will love both fiercely.
Beauty is a fading flower. My spirit is an ever burning fire. Both are important in their own way. Both are mine. Both, I will love.