I have lived a short 25 years, and life has been anything but easy. It feels like so many things have been thrown at me to try to break me. But this is the first time I have felt truly broken. My heart is shattered in a million pieces, and, if I am honest, I am terrified it will never heal again.
Everything I do reminds me of you. Every song I hear with live instruments makes me want to text you about it. Every new art project makes me want to tell you about it. Everytime I see a cool new gadget I think about how you would love to read about it.
To my almost step father, in you I found a home. A place I could feel safe. You showed me it’s okay to be myself and have long talks about stuff that matter. You taught me this by listening when I spoke and giving meaningful responses. You talked to me, not as an adult speaking to a child, but a wise mind speaking to an old soul.
I understand why people wear black when they mourn, because it’s the only color I feel comfortable in these days.
I don’t want to compose poetry anymore, write stories anymore, shoot films anymore. I don’t create anymore. Truthfully, I don’t want to do anything, but I know you wouldn’t want me to stop living. That is the complete opposite of what you stood for. So, as a small step towards doing things again, I will write you letters while God heals my broken soul.
Your almost step daughter